The Best Night of My Life-Imagine Dragons

So as I said in my last post, I attended the Imagine Dragon's concert in May, and it deserved it's own post. In part because it was that good and partly because the night of the concert I came home with my adrenaline rushing and wrote the following post: 

Ears ringing. Heart beating as fast as a locomotive train. Eyes focused and alert. The smell of liberation. Screaming at the top of my lungs. All of my senses heightened to their fullest extent as they experienced the best night of my life.

I just experienced the best night of my life family and friends. Tonight I attended a concert by Imagine Dragons. This group changed my life when I heard the words to their album, Night Vision. You see, I was driving cross country from Branson, Missouri to Lehi, Utah-a 23 hour drive. I heard their song Radioactive and was instantaneously drawn in with no intention of being drawn out. The two days I drove back to my home I was driving back to reality once again. I was getting divorced. I was selling my home. I was leaving the life I had known for over four years! I was freeing myself from the bondage I was once in!

Imagine Dragons' music touched my heart and soul, the way no other music could or ever has. I know it sounds silly to say such a thing if you haven't had such a connection, but their lyrics are the lullabies to my soul! Their music spoke to me, when no words could seem to console my anguish or when I had no one to wipe away my tears. "Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent." -Victor Hugo

Late last year, I experienced the darkest times, such dark times I can never imagine living through them again. It was during this time I prayed to my Heavenly Father and promised that I would do more spiritually (going to the temple monthly, go to institute, and continue reading my scriptures and praying daily) and in return petitioned Him to get my through this time. I have been strengthened each day as a result of many prayers and fasting by friends and family I am sure, but I know Heavenly Father has kept His end as I have kept mine.

Tonight as I was at this concert it hit me. The times when I couldn't bear to go on, I kept my hope that good times lie ahead for me, if I would keep pushing. As I was jumping up and down, singing along, and screaming at the tallest tip of my lungs, it was then that I knew I had made it! I made it through the times and the moments I would try and imagine being truly happy again-it was happening right then and there! I made it! I made it and I love life again! I love my life! What a relief to say that again!

All day today, I was anxious with anticipation of the concert. I have only been two concerts before tonight but this one was different. This concert was one of the five things I had to do this year of the list I made. Going to this concert meant so much more than actively participating in a concert-it signified my liberation, my reclamation. 

 

 

Thanks to my amazing friend Curtis for taking me! Here we are killing time before the concert started. I couldn't have asked for a funner person to go with :)

 

I got a little "selfie" while waiting but I was just so happy!

The opening acts of the concert seemed to take five or so years, so when Imagine Dragons finally took the stage, EVERYONE was ecstatic to hear them, including myself! I dressed a little edgier tonight, because sometimes when I dress a little different it helps me to not feel so much myself, which can be liberating as well.  

Video of when Imagine Dragons took stage & started playing

I would have to say the best parts of the concert was the Radioactive performance, the ENCORE!!, It's Time, and jumping up and down like a fool and loving every minute of it!!!

Most everyone knows the song Radioactive and you know what an exhilarating song it is. So imagine that times 100,000,000,000! I kid you not, it was amazing. Everyone in the crowd was jumping, waiving their hands, singing along, cheering, and the lead singer-Dan Reynolds expressing how much he loved to be back in Utah where the group was first loved and accepted. He said they have been soo exhausted and we rejuvenated them when they needed it the most-well it was just an outpour of good energy and love in that arena! So back to Radioactive. The song is getting to the chorus, it's hot, the lights are pacing around the arena, people are singing along to the music in the dark as the music leads their eyes to the center of the stage. All of the sudden we realize Dan is up above us! He is in the air and starts beating on a drum along with the chorus. The energy and excitement could not get any louder, enthusiastic, or amazing than this!!!

 

Playing the drum in mid air

 

Radioactive 

 

Radioactive II

We thought he was going to keep beating the drum the rest of the song but then he drops the stick, which is attached to him, and he has a microphone attached to his belt. Dan picks up the microphone and finishes the song as he soars above all of his fans. He is lowered down slowly, his feet high in the air, while he head comes down first. He reaches his hand out to his fans to touch them quickly while still singing the song. He goes back up in the air and finishes the song and the crowd is magnetic, electrifying! 

Words could not describe the energy I felt in that moment and I suppose you had to be there to experience it. I will never be able to listen to the song the same again as it will always bring back a memory of such positive energy. It was the best part of the concert by far!!

 

Underdog clip

 

It's Time

I enjoyed letting loose and jumping up and down to the music. I have such a hard time, not worrying what other people might think of me and my self-consciousness usually prevents me from relaxing and having a fun time. When Dan said he wanted every to shake off whatever stressed them in life, let it all out, forget about it, and don't worry what everyone thinks, "leave it out there". I thought to myself, I am going to just live in this moment. Because I knew the words to each and every song, I was in heaven. I jumped up and down with the crowd, I swayed back and forth, I rocked my hips and ran my fingers through my hair, I fist pumped, and waved my arm in the air, I swayed my phone back in forth in the darkness with hundreds of other people. I screamed my lungs out!!! I never scream and screaming, singing, jumping, and all of that energy was sooooo liberating!! I felt so rejuvenated! I didn't care about what people might have thought-although most everyone was doing the same as I. This concert had such a great load of people that helped make it such a great night!

When Dan sang Demons and It's Time- I had a few moments when I felt "alive" more than I have in such a long time. The song Demons is amazing and It's Time is another popular one I'm sure all of you have heard. It's Time has the very popular line "It's time to begin isn't it, I get a little bit bigger than this I admit. Why don't you understand? I'm never changing who I am!" I love that last line. "I'm never changing who I am. It speaks to me about myself as a person and my body. As I was healing and would hear this song it spoke and testified that I loved myself and I'm Never Changing Who I am. I got a little bit choked up during this performance, as of course the entire crowd was engaged, and I was throwing my hands up in the air, singing along with Dan I shed a few tears. This was one of my moments when my soul proclaimed with a great magnitude-this is your life to live, to be happy, to have faith, and to experience. This was a moment when I felt like I was liberated! I felt like I was living like I was dying! What a surreal and majestic moment!

I just want to wrap up my last memory as it was a pretty cool experience. As I said, the love flowing from the band to the fans and fans to the band was enormous and contagioius. Dan said, and I quote "Utah crowd is the best crowd. We love you! I wanna tell you-this summer we've  been to Prague, Vienna, we've been to Germany we've been to France, we've been all over. And to come home to this side, to the states, to Utah, you guys have made us felt like we're home today. We can't tell you how much that means to us. We are all tired and I feel rejuvenated. Thank you. Thank you for this".

Video of Dan thanking the fans

It was so nice to hear a musician thank you, when you want to thank them for helping you through a dark time, helping you smile about life, making everyday a bright day when you listen to their music and to know you helped them feel that back it was amazing! So it should have come as no surprise when they closed with the song, I'm On Top of the World. The crowd was feeling the love and energy as it oozed out of every since inch of the events center. Imagine Dragons left the stage and we all screamed, we all cheered, and just stood in amazement. Everyone was saying how it was the best concert of their life. But we couldn't stop cheering, screaming, and so we started cheering "One More Song....One More Song". When that didn't work we all started beating on the bleachers in front of us and we screamed and shouted again "One More Song". Well what do you know.......they came back out and gave us an Encore! It was legit...epic....ahhhh! 

For the encore I they performed Nothing Left to Say-which was so fitting. At the very end, Dan strapped in again and soared above us and completed the song by doing back flip after back flip.


Oh and did I mention they sound amazing in person! This concert was no let downs whatsoever. Nothing but pure enjoyment and raw talent. Thank you Imagine Dragons for your gift of music, energy, and the best night of my life!


Calissa

Settled In & Beginning of Summer

After nearly a month and a half of having no place to call home, I found an apartment in Orem that allowed me to move in a few days after the showing. Although it's no brand new house, has no granite counter tops or under-mounted sinks, I am happy! So happy to have a place to call my own again or at least until my contract ends in the fall. Regardless, the first night I moved in I just sat in complete aw at the new direction my life would be taking and shed a tear or two to have a place to call home again! The first Saturday morning in my apartment, life just hit me! I woke up and felt like my old self again. I was happy to have been able to sleep in. I was happy that it was sunny. I was happy that I could go to the gym and take as much time I pleased! I was happy when my favorite songs came on the radio. Guess what? This was the old me and it felt good to be back!

My favorite corner in my bedroom. My new nightstand complete with books and Ipad, a beautiful picture of Christ and a comfy chair to sit and read a book on.

In addition to a new home, I started a new job as a part-time office administrator. I'm so grateful for the hours, my co-workers, and the location! Being able to work part-time allows me to feel more like a student which I never felt in the past. I have the opportunity to meet new people everyday, mainly Realtors, and I just love it! Did I mention I'm offered sweet treats almost everyday at work? I'm getting a bit better about saying no, but it's a nice perk for a foodie like myself. Over the past two months I have been able to attend a few events with my co-workers and community Realtors. One of them was a private showing to Iron Man 3, which I thoroughly enjoyed! Another event was a luncheon where Bobsled and Skeleton Olympian, Noelle Pikus Pace, was our motivational speaker. She even brought her medals and now I can say I've seen an Olympic gold medal!

Perhaps one of the best perks about getting settled and eliminating stress out of my life was the weight loss. I kid you not, I dropped 12 pounds in less than 40 days! I lost it without working out or any clean eating. The only two contributors were getting settled and eliminating stress. Regardless, I will not complain about loosing my extra pounds from earlier this year. Now that I am settled though, I've been working out anywhere from 4-6 days a week and it feels great. I've always loved fitness and feels great to take care of myself again. The only downfall is now I'm getting an obsession with buying fitness apparel. It it's cute, comfy, or discounted, I can't resist buying it!

Post-gym high and smiles!

Between school, work, institute class and hitting the gym my days are busy, but that's the way I like life. I just finished my first block classes for the summer which went pretty well. I was happy to find that one of my friends from culinary school, Hayley, was in my Written Business Communication class, so it was fun to reconnect and chat with her. Hayley is just one of the genuinely, happy people and she gave me advice about guys when I needed it these past few weeks. Thanks Hayley! I also just finished an Institute class, which covered October 2012 General Conference talks . One of my favorite things I learned or rather relearned came from President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk- Of Regrets and Resolutions. The bits and pieces I'd love to share with you are in regards to enjoying every moment in life, instead of being caught up with the notion that when certain events or milestones happy in life that "then I will be happy". I felt like I learned this lesson in part when it hit me that life was going by faster and faster each year. Some of his talk said the following:

              ". . . It's not a race; it's a journey. Enjoy the moment...Do we listen to beautiful music waiting for the final note to fade before we allow ourselves to truly enjoy it? No. We listen and connect with the variations of melody, rhythm, and harmony throughout the composition. . . We shouldn't wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available-all the time. . .Perhaps we should be looking less with our eyes and more with our hearts. We are commanded "to give thanks in all things." So isn't it better to see with our eyes and hearts even the small things we can be thankful for, rather than magnifying the negative in our current condition?
Let us resolve to be happy, regardless of our circumstances."

I love this talk and if you would like to read the rest you can find it here . Institute was a great opportunity and a midweek break and I look forward to taking some more classes in the future.

During the month of May, I had some great opportunities to do a lot of fun things with friends. I forgot how social single people are and considering most of my friends are either married or moved away, or both, I don't have a ton of them left "in the scene" so I'm starting from scratch again.  Anyway, if I had to name my top favorite events in May it would be seeing Urijah Faber in real life, attending the Imagine Dragons concert, and going to the SLC Tastemakers event. If any of you watch UFC then you know who Urijah Faber is, aka the "California Kid". When I used to watch UFC on a regular basis with an old friend, I would pick my favorite fighters according to how easy they were on the eyes and how exciting they were to watch. Urijah happened to be one of them, with his unorthodox moves and his blond hair. Anyway, I was at the fight cage side with a couple of guy friends and they mentioned that Urijah was there. I thought they were just joking with my because I openly admitted that I thought he was "fine". Low and behold a few minutes later Urijah walked in with his crew of buddies and I about had a heart attack. I tried to keep it cool, but I was just a little star struck and couldn't help myself from going a little ga ga over him, his muscles, and just the whole picture! So... back to the fight, it was pretty fun, action packed, and quick, which is how I like my sports. It was a little hard to see blood and hear the punches to some of the fighters' faces firsthand but other than that I enjoyed myself. Before the end of the fight, people kept going up to Urijah and asking for pictures and I kept thinking that I should but as soon as I realized he was about 5'6' and I'm a 5'9' female, I just couldn't bring myself to do it, haha. Instead, I just took these pictures from behind which my friends gave me a hard time for, but what is a girl to do when she sees her favorite athlete in real life??

Next, was the Tastemakers event which has to be one of my favorite local events. It is hosted in two different locations-one is held in a pavilion where 8-10 different fine dining restaurants serve tapas (a bite-sized appetizer). The other half of the event is in downtown Salt Lake, in the restaurants themselves. You are given a map and walk from restaurant to restaurant and try their tapas too. My old co-worker and friend Jillian, introduced me to this event last year so naturally we attended this year together as well. She is the biggest sweetheart and a foodie like myself and so she is so fun to go with. Her cousin came too and we had a great time trying so many different foods. I guess it has never occurred to me that taking pictures of your food isn't "normal" but I'm a culinary arts student and foodie so taking pictures is my "normal". So just bear with me as I share my favorites of the night below:

 

                

                                    

                     

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While we ate our food in the pavilion we found a seat and listened to this gentleman sing jazzy, Michael Buble songs, and oh my goodness the lungs on that man! His voice was smooth like bread on butter and I just sat there and ate my little foods listening to him sing, the cool summer breeze hitting my skin, and enjoyed a perfect summer night. All my favorite things, friends, food, music, and a nice summer night! After we hit up all the restaurants in the pavilion we walked around downtown to a few restaurants. While we were walking around we encountered a bum asked us for money after telling some HUGE lie of a story, and we explained we didn't have cash. After the bum cursed at us and walked away, sweet Jillian burst out that she actually had cash, a ton of cash and we just burst into hysterics.  Maybe you had to be there or maybe it was because we had eaten so much and were in food comas, but regardless it was just a fun night. I highly recommend it to those in the surrounding Salt Lake area.

Other fun things in May-besides the concert which is getting it's own post-were going to some new movies, trying new restaurants I've never been to before, going to baseball games, celebrating my niece and nephews birthdays, and going for pedicures with my friend, Leah, while she was in town. 

 

 

 

I'd have to say, May couldn't have gone any better! I can't believe June is almost over though. It makes me so sad! But I hope ya'll are having a great summer!

Calissa

Memory Lane, Exodus, and Limbo

A few days after returning from Chicago, I had to return to home.  Considering I was still enrolled in the semester and hadn't started one of my online classes at all, I was very behind and needed to get caught up and escape my limbo stage of life. After spending so much time with my family, I wished so badly that I was done with school and could move back-but until I finish school, I have to put that dream on hold.

I was lucky enough to be at my parents house around the same time they were getting a new car, which left their Honda pilot without an owner. So they gave it to me to, the loving parents that they are, to help me out in making my fresh new start. I sold my other car and am now the proud owner of a payment free SUV and what a blessing that is!

Before I left on my 23 hour exodus-which I delayed 3-5 days by the way-my mom and I went shopping and stocked me up on some of my favorite foods and treats that they just don't have in Utah. Once my car was packed to the brim with food and my suitcases, I was all set on my first ever solo road trip. I admit, I had never actually driven more than four hours by myself prior to this exodus. So if I were to say I was a bit nervous of going stir-crazy in my car or breaking down on the side of the road, that wouldn't have been far from the truth. But it was a thing I wanted and needed to do. I guess I needed to prove to myself that I could do it and gain some of my independence back. It is easy to become dependent or in my case codependent in bad relationships so it was a literal part of my "journey".

The morning of my departure was a very hard one. I planned on leaving before my siblings went to school but didn't get much sleep the night before. I was sick with worry about driving 23 hours and forgetting something, or getting stranded with no gas and no gas station in sight. This was the time in my life I regretted seeing all those scary movies about people getting stranded and other nonsense. So the timing ended up that I was leaving just as my siblings were leaving for school. It worked out well so we didn't have to make a big deal of it and have so many tears shed. After spending almost two months with my family and coming back home to face my life changing decision it was the hardest, most apprehensive departure I've ever had! I hugged and kissed my siblings and mother and then drove away! It was sad, very sad, but I was ready to escape my limbo, so it made it easier to leave.

I mapped out my drive back, with a detour in one of my old hometown's Wamego, KS. It was only about 45 minutes out of the way and well worth it! A few days before it was almost 70 degrees and as I drove into Wamego it was sleeting snow and raining. I was relieved when it let up, just as I crossed the bridge into a town I hadn't visited for 10 years!

 

My family and I lived in Wamego from the time I was in 4th grade until 9th. At that point, it was the longest our family had stayed put in one town and therefore held so many wonderful memories! In fact, when our family moved it was quite hard for me and a result when I dream about my childhood I always dream about this beautiful, small town. As I crossed the bridge and went down Main Street, I noticed some things had changed while others were exactly the same. Although I visited to "walk down memory lane" I would be a complete liar if I didn't say one of my major reasons was to visit The Friendship House! It is a quaint Dutch bakery, in a small Victorian-style house. My family loved The Friendship House and often ate their sweet rolls, soups, and cookies. In fact, my favorite soups I make are taken from their recipes and this bakery is where my love for baked goods blossomed.

It is funny how after 10 years I found everything easily, like I still lived there. Granted it's an extremely small town, but it was comforting to know I still knew where to find everything. I decided to go into the Friendship House and eat lunch since I had driven for four hours and needed a break. I took a seat at one of the tables in the front room and was greeted by a kind old woman who asked if I had been there before. I told her it had been about 10 years but I knew exactly what I wanted! I was disappointed when they weren't serving my favorite soup but tried another great soup. While I sat, I just "people-watched". I saw people I recognized from the community and from my elementary schools and just enjoyed the moment. Before I left, I bought the remaining sweet rolls and cookies from the display, with the intent to share them with my sister....it's the thought that counts, right? It was a long drive and not one of my sweet treats made it past the Nebraska border, let alone the Utah state line, haha.

 The park & pool where I spent a lot of time as kid

 The Friendship House-my favorite childhood bakery

 Lunch

 My 1st High School-Home of the Red Raiders

 My old Middle School

One of the last fudgie cookie crinkles :(

My parents old country house-their first home and our home for 5 years

I couldn't help but get a bit emotional as I drove past my old house. It sat on over two acres of land, half of which was all woods. As a child I loved being able to "escape" to the woods since I was way too young to drive. I would go sit on a boulder, listen to the water in the stream, see a deer or two, and sit in complete silence. In those moments, communing with nature, I would feel so grateful for such a beautiful world our Father in Heaven created for you and I and would feel the Spirit so strong. Although I am by no means an outdoors-woman I love sitting and enjoying nature. The sunshine, fresh breeze, the smell of the trees, water, and animals. How beautiful to feel those emotions and have a plethora of memories flood my mind! I feel as though driving through Wamego helped heal some part of me that I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to as a young teen. And perhaps you can't know where you are going in life until you relive or understand where you came from and that's why it helped me.

After Wamego I made my way through Manhattan, which brought back many memories too. Because our church building was in Manhattan, I spent a lot of time in Manhattan too. It was so fun to drive through and see things from an adult perspective and remember all my wonderful church friends and families. The Knapps and Balsmeiers were some of the families I was closest too during those years! I had many many good influences as a teen living in Wamego/Manhattan and thank all those who helped shape me into a strong woman!

Because I was behind in my trip, I quickly made my way to Hays, KS and made a stop for gasoline and a car charger. During this whole time I listened to about 32 songs on repeat a few times and after watching the clock every 10 minutes I decided it was time to play my first audio book-Eat, Pray, Love. How fitting for my new journey in life, right? haha. It was the perfect remedy for a long drive and the perfect companion. Eat, Pray, Love was popular a few years ago, when most people probably saw it in movie theaters. The book is a little different than the movie of course but I like both! It was great to be able to relate to the author about just breaking down and crying at times, because that's where I was at that point. Realizing that I was changing my life as I knew it and it was scary! I love how the author just went out on a limb and dropped everything in her life to heal and discover herself. It was very pertinent to me and so brave! Needless to say, I enjoyed the book very much! 

Once it got dark, I found that my five hours of sleep was making it hard to stay awake so I called it quits in Oskaloosa, Nebraska. I was starving as it was nearly 11:00 pm and I hadn't eaten since earlier that day in Wamego. Before checking into a hotel I stopped at KFC and was scared to find the weirdest contraption on the drive-through window. It was a device, clearly devised to keep people from robbing the store and prevented any physical contact from occurring. As I placed my money onto this device and watch them swivel it around and back into the store, I suddenly feared for sleeping in a hotel in this town! haha. Luckily, all was well and I slept great that night. However, it does make me laugh looking back at my fear that night as I slept in my hotel room all alone.

The next morning I slept in until 8, ate a nice big breakfast and set off for my home! I drove 13 hours that day and oh boy it was a long and windy drive! The local radio stations said the winds were between 30-40 mph and I could feel it as I gripped my steering wheel, as I tight as I could. It was around this time I stopped for gasoline and when I got out of my car I was nearly blown away. That's when I snapped this humorous picture and sent it to my sisters. Obviously, you can sense my boredom just by looking at this picture, haha. If you think that is bad....well you should've seen the Thrift Shop video I sent to my sisters. Instead I will spare you the video and just share some stills. I was car dancing and lip syncing, the whole enchilada!(I obviously have no shame any more, if I am sharing these publicly, but this is myself at my goofiest):

$20 in my pocket! haha

That night I arrived, back to Utah, all in one piece, despite my horrible car dancing and lip syncing! I crashed at my sisters house that night and in true Mahoney fashion, she fed me with great food and treats! 

A few days after arriving back in town, my house sold after being on the market less than two weeks! It was such a blessing and one less burden on my back. Although it was hard to say goodbye to something I had worked so hard for and what it resembled to me, a year earlier, I didn't feel the attachment I felt before I left. The only hard part was saying goodbye to my best friend and puppy Dash. As I packed up my things once and for all I took some time to play with my little buddy and took him on a walk. Before Dash, I never realized what wonderful, little spirits animals have and what a tender heart I have towards them. They are so kind, genuine, and have such a pure love-very similar to that of a child. I took some pictures with my little guy before I left and said goodbye. Although I wish I could take him with me on my new journey it didn't work out for me as far as housing was concerned and so I had to say goodbye. To the best puppy and friend I had the past two years-I love you little guy. Thank you for giving my snuggles and kisses when no one else would. You were the best four-legged friend a girl could ask for!

 Letting him go dig crazy on our last walk together

 His sweet little face while he fell asleep

 

For the next month, I went from couch to couch and hotel to hotel as I searched for a place to live. The trouble with a college town is that everything revolves around the semester which meant housing wasn't available until the end of April and it was the middle of March. My sister and brother-in-law were so kind to let me stay with them for nearly two weeks, to help me save me from the expense of a hotel every night. During that time I ate so many good meals, way too many treats late at night with Ryan, and got to play and hold my niece and nephews. They are just the cutest little things and were the perfect distraction from my stressful life. Here are some of the fun photos we snapped during my visit. 

 Playtime with Kaden

 "Lippy" time with Leighton

 On our way to Ikea-these two are just too cool!

Cupcakes!

 Was watching Cohen-I guess a fist in the mouth means he was hungry?!

Miss sassy, sunglasses on, and  hand on the hips Leighton

I was fortunate enough to finish the semester successfully for two out of my three classes. I started a semesters long class three weeks before the end of the semester which was.......well.....interesting, haha. I am just so glad I was able to slowly work my way back into a normal routine and tie up the last of some loose ends. After being in Missouri for such a long time, I realized how much I missed my siblings and parents. On a few occasions I fought the urge just to drive right back and escape all my stress again but I knew moving forward was the only way to break through my current limbo! I was strengthened through the prayers and support of family members and as the news broke publicly and through social media, I received many kind words from friends as well. Although it took me awhile to acknowledge all the sweet words written to me, they helped me gain comfort and confidence. I also went to dinner with some of my friends which helped me realize how much I was loved and cared for. So again, thank you to everyone! 

Well that about wraps up my journey of limbo from earlier this year! I look forward to sharing my current life with all of you in my posts hereafter!

Love,

Calissa